Did he really love me?

The querent in this chart is a woman in her 40's. She's been wanting to be in a long-term stable relationship for many years.

She has met several men, spent time with them, but it has never lasted. This chart is about her latest attempt. After about six months of them being together, her boyfriend decided to break off the relationship. She is heartbroken. She doesn't understand exactly what happened or why he decided to leave.

relationship horary did he really love me

The querent is the ruler of the Ascendant so she is signified by Venus, the ruler of Taurus. Venus is in Aries, the sign of its detriment, and is in house 12. That’s very descriptive. It reflects her state of mind. She is not feeling good about herself. She is distressed about having ended the relationship and the way things ended. Not a pleasant place to be in.

Her ex-boyfriend is signified by Mars as Mars rules Scorpio, which is the sign on the 7th Cusp. Mars is in Virgo and is Peregrine. It is right on the cusp of his own house 12, which is very meaningful. It is very common in relationship charts, especially the ones about breakups or when problems and challenges in the relationship are present, that house 12 is active for the people involved and this chart is no exception. House 12 is about things that distresses mentally and emotionally as the result of an inner process in our minds and hearts. It’s not something that comes from the outside, although it can be triggered from the outside. As such, it can manifest in many different ways in romantic relationships, shame, fear of rejection, suppressed anger or narcissism to give a few examples.

The moon signifies the “querent” emotions. And as you can see, the moon is in house 7. In the sign of Mars, which is the sign of the 7th Cusp. This is descriptive of somebody who fell in love with him. The moon in Scorpio is essentially debilitated by fall, so that’s quite literal. She fell in love or she fell for him. But it doesn’t feel good to her. It feels unpleasant now.

He being a man has the sun as a co-significator because the sun is the natural ruler of man in relationship charts. In practice, the sun refers to his sexual interests as Venus would refer to her woman’s sexual interests. The sun is in house 11. But here what is relevant is that house 11 is the turned fifth house from the 7th. This is very significant. This is somebody who’s interest in the relationship is in having fun, having sex. That is normal and healthy. However, in order to answer her question, we need to verify whether there is any interest on his part other than sex. Let’s look at his main significator, Mars, and see how he feels about her, that is, Venus, and the moon.

If we look at the table of essential dignities, we’ll see that Mars in Virgo is in the triplicity and fall of Venus simultaneously. That means he has mixed feelings about her. Triplicity is a feeling of appreciation. So, a positive thing. But it’s the weakest of the three positive things that a horary chart can show. There is triplicity, exaltation, and sign. Those are the three significantly positive ways, receptions depict how we feel about other people.

He has some positive feelings for her, but they are on the weak side, as shown by Mars in Venus’s triplicity. But it is also in the fall of Venus, and that’s not only negative, but also a stronger negative than triplicity as a positive. The scale is tipped to the negative. That shows disappointment, so he is also displeased with her. He doesn’t hate her, but he doesn’t like her. So he does not want to be with her, and broke off the relationship.

That answers her question, right? Did he really love me?

One acceptable answer would be that he had some positive feelings toward her, but mostly was not happy and was disappointed in her. He was interested in having fun and sex, and that was about it. Plus, Mars is not in any dignities of the moon, so he is indifferent to her emotions.

She, on the other hand, doesn’t feel good about herself, being in its detriment, but she exalts the sun. If we look at the table of essential dignities again, we will see that Venus in Aries is in the sun’s exhalation, so she is attracted to the sun and wants the sun. She was interested in having sex with him and having fun too, so that was mutual, but she is not happy in Aries.

The combination of her and his essential debilities, receptions and house placements, show that they were not in a place conducive to a long-term relationship. So the question is answered.

We could stop at just answering the question, but if we look further into the chart, we will see that there is a wealth of information about them and their relationship and why it failed.

In addition to indicating accidental dignity, the nodes function as signposts. They say, “look here”, and if the context allows, we interpret them. The nodes are on their second house axis. Those houses are very relevant in relationships. This brings up the theme of self-expression, self-image, and behavior, how we behave towards the other person.

The nodes here are indicating that there is something about how they treated one another that fell short of expectations, very likely for both of them.

The ruler of her house two is Mercury, as we have Gemini on the second cusp. Mercury is conjunct with Neptune. Neptune indicates things that are hidden. There is something hidden or not clear about her house two in their relationship. She is not aware of something she did or said.

If the partner says or does something that is unacceptable to us, we have to address it, hopefully in a mature and intelligent way. If we cannot address it, we need to learn to address it if we are to retain the relationship.

If not we either break up or have to endure a miserable relationship. How we behave influences the relationship and this chart is demonstrating that such a fact had an impact on their relationship and their breakup. And not only that, we can see in what area of the relationships that impact played out.

Mercury is conjunct with Saturn by antiscion. Mercury at one degree in 15 minutes of Pisces has its antiscion at 28 degrees and 45 minutes of Libra, which is where Saturn is. What does this mean? It means that her behavior is directly connected with Saturn and influences Saturn and vice versa.

What could Saturn be?

Saturn is the ruler of Aquarius and the fifth house from the seventh. It signifies his pleasure or his experience of intimacy. So her behavior affected his pleasure directly. Something she said or did impacted his house five. Mercury being in its detriment and fall, hints at talking or doing something out of turn in their intimacy. And Mars is ruled by Mercury. Thus we have a clue that this dynamic is a significant reason if not the main reason for him to wish to leave the relationship.

We can see so far that there’s more than just simply “did he love me” in this chart. If we want more information, there is more information. Horary, always shows all of the factors there are relevant to a situation. They all appear in the chart. If we want to learn from our relationships, that is amazing because it will show us everything that happened that is of importance. And then we can work on it, become aware of it and not repeat our mistakes, ideally.

Or on the other hand, we may simply realize that there are certain things we like and other people don’t like and vice versa. And we are better off apart than being together. Horary teaches us about ourselves and about other people, which is great in terms of relationships. The more we know about people, the better the chances of being in a nourishing relationship. And the better the chances of getting out of a relationship that’s not good for us.

There is more in the chart. Let’s keep looking. 

The moon is in a perfect square with the sun. So the moon is strongly influenced by the sun and the sun is strongly influenced by the moon. This square hints at a connection that was awkward to put it mildly. Both the moon and the sun are essentially debilitated. They’re not happy and they cannot make one another happy. She is likely expressing an upset emotional state.

And the sun is in its detriment. So he cannot behave well as a man either. And so as we can expect, things do not turn out well when they are like that. Unless they bring things to light, communicate and develop their relationship further. The tendency is that they’re going to separate. 

We can see that Jupiter is right on the ascendant here. It’s actually inside house one.

The rule is that a planet less than five degrees before a cusp places that planet in that house. Here we have a very large house 12. We have an incepted sign there. In this case, we can stretch and add a couple more degrees to that rule. Jupiter is well within the range of being in house one. So being in house one, Jupiter has a strong influence on her. 

What is Jupiter?

The Arabic part of marriage is located at 12 degrees of Sagittarius. So its dispositor Jupiter signifies their relationship. The Arabic part is right on his second cusp further emphasizing the house to a theme and its connection to the relationship’s outcome. Jupiter’s location is telling us that the relationship was very important to her. We know from the context that she has wanted a stable relationship for some time. So Jupiter’s position corroborates.

It does not mean this relationship was good for her or that she liked it. It simply means that it had weight in her life and psyche. We know that he took the initiative to break up and we saw that he did not want to be with her as shown by Mars being in Venus’s fall. If we take another quick look at the table of dignities, we will see how Mars is disposed towards Jupiter. That is how he feels about the relationship itself.

Mars and Virgo is in Jupiter’s detriment. So he basically hates the relationship and rejects it. 

When we get into a relationship and we do things we don’t like and we are not pleased with ourselves and we still insist on being in that relationship, that includes an active house 12.

It is the same if we simply put up with other people’s behavior that does not suit our preferences. And we know that house 12 is active in this chart because Mars is right on his 12th Cusp and Venus is inside her house 12. 

Finally we can see that Mars and Venus are conjunct by antiscion.

Venus’ antiscion falls at 22 degrees and 23 minutes of Virgo which is where Mars is. What could that mean? We already know they are connected so what is the chart trying to tell us? 

Antiscia can have a connotation of something hidden, obscure something that cannot be seen or plain unawareness as does Neptune. So we have plenty of that being emphasized in this chart. All of the things that I mentioned about house 2, house 5, and house 12 are things they decided not to acknowledge about themselves and one another, within the relationship.

They decided they did not want to bring those things into light in their relationship and work through them. There is nothing necessarily right or wrong with that decision. They were not meant to go through that process together and they are moving on with their individual lives. The Venus-Mars conjunction by antiscion could be interpreted as indicating that they decided to remain hidden from one another. They decided to keep their incompatibilities hidden from one another rather than bringing them to light. So they simply said goodbye to one another.

Watch the video of this interpretation


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Psychological Astrology – House 12 Psychology
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